


it was always you

by rosycolors



Category: My Babysitter's A Vampire
Genre: Accidental Cuddling, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Banshees, Camping, Childhood Friends, Coma, Coming Out, Cuddling & Snuggling, Dark Magic, Erica and Benny close friendship, Evil Warlock, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Gay Ethan Morgan, He/She/They Benny Weir, Heartbreak, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, MLM WLW solidarity, Magic, Men Crying, Mutual Pining, Near Death, Near Death Experiences, Nonbinary Benny Weir, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pining, Plotting, Polyamory, Rory and Benny frienship, Rory and Erica friendship, Sharing Body Heat, Sharing a Bed, Slow Burn, Werewolf, bisexual jesse, ethan's journey of self discovery, jesse was never evil, let men cry, magically induced coma, nblm benny weir, nonbinary rory, pansexual rory, romantic movie watching, rory is in a poly relationship, rory uses they/them and neopronouns, sapphic sarah fox, soul stealers, trans lesbian erica, unintentional staring, updated tags, venting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-25
Updated: 2020-08-30
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:29:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 17,848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25503679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosycolors/pseuds/rosycolors
Summary: Ethan glances over at Benny, his best friend. The one who could always make him laugh no matter the circumstance. The one who knew everything about him and loved it. The one who stayed by his side and helped him through everything. A feeling swells in his chest, causing his heart to quicken and his palms to sweat. They're gorgeous. And he loves them."It was always you."
Relationships: Ethan Morgan/Benny Weir, Rory Keaner/Jesse, Rory Keaner/Original Character(s), Sarah Fox/Erica Jones
Comments: 21
Kudos: 15





	1. Benny Trying Not To Pine

**Author's Note:**

> Just a few heads up before you start reading:
> 
> 1.) Any misgendering is not purposeful. In the beginning Rory and Benny are not out about being nonbinary. I refuse to write transphobia so there is none in here, along with no homophobia. It's more of a journey of discovering who they are, coming to terms with it, and then telling people. Also when people are unsure of the other person's pronouns, in their head they will always use they/them
> 
> 2.) There is going to be quite a bit of gore and other horror elements. 
> 
> 3.) This is set in 2019 (I just don't know how to write in a pandemic).
> 
> 4.) I will switch up Benny’s pronouns based on if their feeling more masc, fem, or androgynous. Typically, they tend to mostly use they/them though.
> 
> I really hope you like it. Updates may vary. I have ADHD so sometimes it's hard for me to sit down and write for long periods of time. I will absolutely finish it though, I'm super determined.
> 
> A big thank you to my friends Julianne and Ryan/Diego. They both helped me organize my thoughts and actually write a cohesive story line. Please follow their twitters (Julienne - twitter.com/lovinglyadora) and (Ryan/Diego - twitter.com/imreallytryan)
> 
> I will update the tags as I go, I really don't have each chapter fully fleshed out yet.

Benny sighs loudly, their alarm clock waking them from what was a really good dream. Ever since the manifestation of their powers, catching a decent dream was few and far between. Day after day of life threatening scenarios left them tired and scarred. Annoyed, they roll out of bed to grab their clothes and take a shower. On their way to the shower, they heard their grandma listening to the news. The tired reporter was droning on about a vicious wolf attack a few days ago. Apparently one kid survived. They shrugged off a tense feelings and continued on.

The warlock took relatively short showers but getting groomed and dressed took nearly an hour. They liked to put on a bit of makeup--not enough to be noticeable other than the eyeliner--and tussle their hair.

They slide a gray and black striped shirt over the long sleeve they were already wearing and tuck just a small portion of the shirt into their jeans. After putting on all their bracelets, they walk to their room to grab a pair of socks and their backpack. 

Going down the stairs, Benny walks to where their grandma is sitting on the sofa. Evalyn smiles up at her grandchild, grabbing their hand. “Let me know if anything happens today at school,” she says, staring into his eyes. 

They know she knows something but would rather not ask as to what she is referring to. “I will. Love you grandma,” they say, walking towards the door to put their white hightops on. 

Benny opens the door and steps outside, momentarily freaked out by the darkness before remembering that it is mid fall. They quietly walk to the front of Ethan’s house, coincidentally which was directly next door. They pull out their phone to shoot Ethan a quick text to hurry it up as they stand in the cold. After about ten minutes, Ethan leaves his house. Benny is momentarily stunned by how good Ethan looks, not used to seeing him in that style. The other boy was wearing really nice tan corduroys, a tucked in button up, and an oversized wool coat. Usually Ethan wore the kind of things you expect geeks to wear but recently he’s been changing up his style. They quickly shake it off and put on their typical shit-eating grin.

“Wow mister fancy pants, took you long enough,” They say sarcastically, lightly punching Ethan’s arm.

Ethan just rolls his eyes and walks forward. “Jane couldn’t find her ‘Spooky Shoes’--whatever that means.”

“Shoes specifically for October? Man she really is onto something there,” Benny laughs.

They continue joking around with each other, even as they reach the school. Ethan suddenly stops talking and Benny turns their head to see what he was looking at. Just a few feet away is Sarah at Erica’s locker. The two of them are laughing and look happy in their conversation. Benny turns back to Ethan who is smiling softly with adoration. As much as it hurt to see their longtime crush in love with someone else, those moments where they could see Ethan happy are the ones they loved the most. It truly was bittersweet. 

Benny knocks Ethan’s shoulder with their own and grins once more. “Go talk to her, dork.”

Ethan nervously glaces at her, then Benny, then back to her. He sighs, deflating and then walks towards his own locker, Benny trailing not too far behind. “I can’t do it. Not after I asked her out and then stood her up.”

“Dude, you need to forget about that. It was a dire circumstance and was necessary. I’m sure she doesn’t care because she understood the situation. The longer you ignore her the more she will think they you don’t like her,” they say, trying to be the rock for their best friend. Yes, they were in love with him but their friendship  _ always _ comes before their own feelings.

Ethan groans, shaking his head and grabbing a couple of textbooks from his locker. He shuts the door and faces Benny. “I know it’s just… I really like her and I don’t want to mess it up again. I’m thinking that it’s a sign or something that we don’t belong together.”

Benny snorts, trying not to laugh. They know their best friend is serious but he was being ridiculous. Ethan gives them a glare and opens his mouth to speak before getting interrupted by Rory. “Hey guys, what’s up,” the kid says, smiling excitedly up at them.

Benny examines Rory’s outfit, mildly shocked by what he was wearing. The kid was wearing a gray shirt with a cool swirly logo in a tiny box on the front. It was extremely baggy but still managed to fit like a crop top, stopping a little bit above his belly button. Below that is a red and dark gray plaid skirt with a rainbow belt and a few chains dangling from the belt loops. His black socks were an inch or so below the knee. It was completely new to see Rory dressed like that but Benny liked it a lot. They smile at him.

“Whoa dude, nice fit,” Benny remarks, being as sincere as possible.

Rory beams at them, looking very pleased. Before he can speak, Erica and Sarah walk up to the trio. Erica takes a long look at Rory’s outfit and looks at him with something that Benny could quite pick out. Pride? Adoration? They didn’t know. But the look was just reserved for the two of them and it confused the hell out of Benny. Since when were they an item? They could have sworn Erica did not like him that way. “Wow Rory, you look great in that. Where’d you get it?” Erica asks, for once not sounding snide or uncaring.

“I actually followed your advice and thrifted some stuff. Pretty neat huh?”

Erica nods enthusiastically and then spirals into a talk about fashion with him and Erica. It was nice to see them all getting along, especially after Erica branded Rory a loser and refused to talk to him at one point. 

Benny turns to leave, not knowing how to enter the conversation. They liked fashion and everything but didn’t actually know brand names. They just liked to pick out stuff that looks good and throw it all together. 

Ethan stands, staring at Erica for a few seconds. She looked so happy talking with Erica and Rory and he didn’t want to ruin it. She deserved something nice after all that has happened to her. Benny notices him staring again and feels a sharp pain in their chest which they choose to ignore. Right as Benny was going to walk away, Ethan turns around as well and moves closer to Benny. He lets out a short puff of air, lighting leaning his head against Benny. They blush, looking away. Softly, they pat his head, trying to comfort him. “Cmon, let's go to class.”

\--

Throughout history, Benny could not stop looking at one of their classmates. Something about him just felt off. The dude not only was a nervous ball of energy, constantly jiggling his leg at a fast pace, but also looked as if he hadn’t slept in a while. He was tan, but his skin looked visibly pasty, as if he were extremely ill. Benny didn’t know what about him set them off but his whole demeanor unnerved them. Occasionally, Benny would look over and see the dude sniffing the air like a dog. Lunch was next period but they were quite far from the cafeteria.

When the bell rang, Benny made his way to the cafeteria to get some food. The menu today seemed somewhat edible. It was cheeseburgers and curly fries with a side of weird smelling pineapples. They pay and then go to sit at the usual spot where they usually sat with Ethan and Rory. They play on their phone for a bit before Rory slides in next to them. Benny smiles, for some reason not annoyed with the kid like they usually were. They think about Rory’s outfit and the idea that Rory might be trans goes through their head. “Hey Rory… I don’t mean to be intrusive or anything but is there a reason other than feeling like it that you decided to wear a skirt?”

Rory pauses for a moment, looking incredibly nervous, hands shaking. “Um. Yeah. Uh. Erica told me to be honest to myself and everyone else about me. She uh… She’s been giving me a lot of advice recently.”

“That’s pretty solid advice. Erica has always been pretty smart about things. And just so you know, you can talk to me about anything. I don’t mind,” Benny says, not trying to be forceful but also hinting that they’re someone that is open minded. 

Again, Rory pauses. It looks like the kid is seriously thinking, twiddling their thumbs and shaking their leg a bit. “I’m trans,” Rory blurts out, “Nonbinary to be exact.”

Benny places their hand between Rory’s shoulder blades, trying to be as comforting as possible. “Thank you for telling me... And I’m also nonbinary,” Benny exhales forcefully like a weight has been lifted. “I haven’t really told anyone else yet so uh… I don’t know… Anyways I really don’t want to misgender you so can you tell me what pronouns you use?”

It was easy telling another trans person. Benny actually felt a lot better. Not that they would come out to everyone but at this moment they felt proud of themself. Rory smiled up at Benny, looking equally as relieved. “I use they/them pronouns but also xe/xir. Either one works. What about you?”

“Right now, I just want they/them but other times I will use he or she.”

“Alright. I’ll make sure to use the proper ones when you’re using them,” Xe says, turning toward xir burger.

Ethan sits down across from them right as the conversation ends. He gives both of them a skeptical look, not knowing why Benny is all the sudden super chummy with Rory. “What were you guys talking about?”

“Nothing really,” Benny blurts, “Just talking about Zombie Madness V”

Ethan groans loudly. He hates that stupid game but hears about it all the time from Benny. “The game sucks I can’t believe you guys actually play it.”

Benny pulls a jokingly offended face, placing their hand over their heart. “Don’t you dare say that about the greatest shooter game of all time! It’s a masterpiece.”

Ethan laughs and the two of them get into an argument about what makes something qualify as a good game. They go on for several minutes, yelling back and forth in a playful manner. Benny loved it when they were like this. It made them forget about everything else. Everything before they discovered vampires and somehow got tied in with the supernatural. When it was just him and Ethan. Their argument was, however, cut short by Rory making gagging sounds and covering xir nose. The duo turn their heads to look at xir. “Man, the worst thing about being a vampire is the smells. Something smells like rotten meat and wet dog.”

“That’s rough doc. Where is the smell coming from,” Benny says, looking around the cafeteria. Their eyes land on the student from his history class. Instantly, Benny knew it was coming from him. The closer the kid got, the more Rory reacted to it. 

“I can’t really tell but wow that’s putrid. I have to go.” Rory gets up from the table, taking xir tray. Benny watches as xe leaves the cafeteria and then vampire sprints away. They’re honestly surprised no one has caught xir doing that yet. 

“Reason number five thousand of why I’m glad I’m not a vampire,” Ethan says jokingly, taking a bite out of his food.

Benny just nods along, still feeling uneasy. They try to shake it off, not wanting to worry Ethan. “After school can we have a movie marathon? I feel like we deserve it,” They ask, wanting some sort of normality.

Ethan eagerly nods, mouth too full to even speak. Benny grins, giving him finger guns and then also returning to their own food.

\--

After school, the pair walks back to Ethan’s house. Since Benny practically lives there, he doesn’t have to ask his parents if it’s okay for them to be over. Benny runs upstairs while Ethan stays downstairs to get the snacks. Once Benny reaches Ethan’s bedroom, they plop down on the bed, kicking their shoes off. Nothing ever changed about Ethan’s room. Still the same nerdy posters, figurines, and books lining the walls. Of course Benny liked change, but the way that Ethan always remained the same was comforting. Benny could look in here and think about their lives together since they were kids. It physically hurt to think of how in love with this idiot they are and how this idiot was in love with someone else. But they could ignore all that when they’re in here. It was their space they made together. Looking at the ceiling, they smiled when they spotted the glow in the dark stars Benny had super glued to the ceiling when they were 8. Ethan’s mom was furious and their grandma damn near grounded him for a month. But it was still a great memory.

Ethan burst into the room before Benny’s eyes could wander any further. In Ethan’s arms was a bucket of popcorn, Oreo's, and the chips they always ate together. Benny sits up and makes room for Ethan, pulling the laptop off the floor. Ethan gets on the bed next to them, setting the food in the middle. Despite the food being in between them, Ethan still managed to have his shoulder against Benny’s, causing them to feel like they're on fire.

Benny opens the laptop and types in Ethan’s password. They pull up Netflix and scroll through the options. Ethan trusted them with his laptop and also trusted them to pick out a good movie. They both have the same taste in everything so he knows Benny will always pick out a good one. They settle on one, push the computer back, and settle down further. 

As the movie plays, Benny couldn’t help but occasionally stare at Ethan. They don’t even know they’re doing it until Ethan meets their eyes and they have to quickly pick up something to eat. The movie wasn’t too bad, or at least at the parts that Benny paid attention to. It was a shit quality horror movie, just the type that Ethan and Benny loved more than anything.

Before Benny knew it, the movie was over. They were so distracted that they didn’t catch the ending. Right as Ethan opened his mouth, his mother called up the stairs. “Ethan! Benny! Jane! Come down for dinner.”

The two of them get off the bed, careful not to spill anything. They march downstairs, running into Ethan’s sister on the way. She glances at them, not really caring, then continues to walk. They reach the dining room, Ethan’s mom setting put the plates and silverware. Ethan’s dad was in the living room, watching the news. From what Ethan could hear, Another person was mauled to death just about an hour ago. “Oh honey, can you turn that off? I don’t want it to upset Jane,” Mrs. Morgan calls out.

Jane rolls her eyes, not liking being treated as a child-- despite being one. Mr. Morgan turns off the TV and walks into the dining room. He walks to stand in between Benny and Ethan, placing his hand on their backs. The instant he touched Ethan, the teen was thrown into a vision. The vision showed someone being chased down. When she turned her head, she was face to face with a massive wolf. It was about her height on all fours. It had bright, glowing yellow eyes that just screamed bloodthirsty. As soon as the vision happened, it was over.

For the entirety of dinner, Benny could tell something was wrong with Ethan. Typically he would join in the tableside banter but he was unusually quiet. Dinner quickly ended and the two of them had to wash the dishes while everyone else went to do their own separate thing. Mid wash of a plate, Benny looks over at Ethan. “What’s wrong dude?”

Ethan looks up at Benny, surprised they could even tell. He bites his lip for a second before rinsing his dish off and placing it in the drying rack. “I had a vision,” Ethan whispers, looking around to see if anyone could hear them. 

“What about?” Benny inquires, also placing their dish on the rack. 

“This woman… She was running from something. A wolf. With glowing yellow eyes. And it was massive.”

Benny finishes the last dish and sighs, shaking their head. They dry off their hand and grab Ethan’s shoulder. “Tomorrow, we can talk to my grandma about it. But for now, let's just relax, watch some movies, and forget about it. Okay?”

Ethan leans into Benny’s touch and chews on the inside of his cheek. He nods and allows himself to be ushered up the stairs. 

Benny once again chooses a movie, this time scooting closer to Ethan. They knew that whenever Ethan had a vision, he would be in a mood for a few hours, feeling mild shock each time. Benny could only imagine how horrifying it was to just randomly see the most awful things. It was surprising to them how well he dealt with it.

Ethan rests his head on Benny’s shoulder, still not feeling one hundred percent yet. Benny leaned into it, wanting to comfort their best friend and ignore the rapid beating of their heart. They put on movie after movie, eventually taking the food off the bed so as to not spill it everywhere. After about the fourth movie, they hear the relaxed breathing of Ethan. Glancing over, they realize that Ethan is sleeping. Without moving their body, Benny shuts the laptop and places it on the floor. Usually Benny slept on the floor but this time around, they didn’t feel like jostling Ethan around and waking him. So they stayed put, drifting off as well.


	2. Ethan Overthinking

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there everyone, I hope you like this chapter.
> 
> Please remember that any misgendering in this chapter is unintentional and is only because the character doesn't know the person is trans. It won't happen for much longer, I promise, but these characters have to come out first. There is no transphobia in this work, I refuse to write it in. So when characters come out, they will always be met with validation and love. This chapter and the next chapter will be the last ones with any form of misgendering, and it is very mild and almost invisible. If you don't want to see it at all, please skip one portion of dialogue between Sarah and Ethan starting with "I'm really sorry. For ditching you that night". 
> 
> The weird grammar on the dialogue is intentional and is punctuated how the person is speaking, no matter if it's grammatically incorrect. But if there are grammatical mistakes outside of that, it's actually a mistake and feel free to correct me.
> 
> My second language is English so please bear with me if I make any mistakes.
> 
> Also don't forget to follow the people who helped with this story (Julienne - twitter.com/lovinglyadora) and (Ryan/Diego - twitter.com/imreallytryan)

Ethan slowly opens his eyes, groggy and weirdly warm. His whole body was sore but still somehow comfortable in a way. Once his eyes adjust to the sunlight that is pouring through his window, he moves his head slightly to hear a muffled grunt from beneath him. He quickly shoots up, heart pounding, realizing that he had fallen asleep on Benny. More noises of protests could be heard. “Ow,” Benny says, voice low and gravely.

Ethan tries to shake off his nervousness, a bit confused as to why he was nervous in the first place. “Oh uh… sorry,” he whispers, moving to get off the bed. 

From what he could tell, it was still fairly early in the morning. Definitely was earlier than his best friend preferred to be awake on a weekend. Silently, he grabs his own clothes for the day and sets aside a pair of shorts and striped shirt that Benny had left however many years ago. 

Ethan quietly traverses to the bathroom, wanting to take a relaxing shower to calm himself down. It was fairly common for his heart to react to Benny being too close but he never really understood why. Yeah, he was nervous around new people but Benny hadn’t been a new person since they were six. They were the closest person to Ethan and always had been. It was too confusing and honestly not something he wanted to think about right now.

The shower was not helpful in any way, his mind kept racing between Sarah and Benny. He knew how he felt about Sarah. It was really clear. She was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen in his life and just being around her made him feel like there was static in the air. It was absolutely electrifying and he loved it. But it was also bittersweet. He felt as if she was just going through the motions with him, not feeling the same intensity that he did. It hurt but he could tell there might be someone else she loves. Someone that’s not him. He never told Benny this because he knew that Benny would just call him ridiculous and assure him that there’s no way she didn’t like him. He loved his best friend’s constant positivity but sometimes he just preferred to be realistic over everything. 

He never really understood why Benny was so confident that no one would reject him. Of course people would, that’s just how life works. But Benny seemed so sure that Ethan was something special. Thinking about it made his heart flutter and it made him feel ridiculous. Of course best friends think each other are special, that’s just how friendship is. He bet Sarah and Erica felt that way about each other.

Not wanting to piss his sister off for using all the hot water, he cuts his shower short and hurries to get dressed. Just his usual shirt and shorts combo that he rocked since he was 12. Recently he’s been trying to change his style but it’s the weekend so he didn’t care too much.

Once again as quietly as he could, he gets back to his room across the hall. Still sprawled across the bed was a sleeping Benny, looking peaceful. Ethan knew they struggled with nightmares and hardly got peaceful rest. He didn’t want to wake them up just yet. Slowly as to not jostle Benny, Ethan slides back into bed, scrolling through twitter on his phone. A few minutes of seeing absolutely nothing on his timeline slowly starts to tire him out and he slowly starts to drift off again.

\--

Ethan wakes up to the feeling of Benny moving off the bed. This time, he was quicker to wake and it didn’t feel like he was moving his limbs through syrup. After rubbing his eyes, he pointed at his desk where he set Benny’s clothes earlier this morning. “I set that out for you,” He says, yawning halfway through the sentence. 

He watches as Benny looks at the clothes and laughs. “Wow I haven’t seen these in years. You had them this whole time?”

“Yeah, you left them here and I kept forgetting to give it back.” 

Benny picks up the clothes and examines them, shaking their head while smiling. “This is so ugly, there’s no way I’m wearing it… Well… Maybe the shirt.”

Ethan gets out of bed and opens the door. “If you’re not gonna change, let’s just go talk to your grandma now.”

Benny sets the short back on the desk, keeping the shirt in hand. Benny and their goddamn striped shirts. It was almost incredible how much that kids liked striped shirts. They make their way out of the house, taking about thirty seconds to reach Benny’s place. Evalyn was nowhere to be seen in the living room so the two of them walk around back to see her planting fresh herbs in the ground. They both take a step outside and watch as she shifts her focus to them.

“Is there something you two need?” She questions, wiping the sweat off her brow.

Ethan shifts nervously and looks at Benny. They give him a small nod and lightly touch his arm in a comforting manner. Ethan had always been somewhat afraid of Evalyn, her energy and knowledge far beyond anything Ethan could ever hope for. “Uh… Yeah. I had a vision. A pretty bad one. About the attacks going around.”

Evalyn nods silently, waiting for the boy to finish his sentence. He takes a deep breath and continues, “It was a giant wolf with yellow eyes.”

Evalyn thinks for a moment, standing up. She brushes the dirt off her jeans and sighs. “I’ll grab my spellbook.”

The three of them walk into the house and down the basement where Evalyn kept all of her magic related things. Ethan and Benny watch as she sorts through a few large and old looking books. Books that the two of them hadn’t seen before. She pulls one out, turning to face them. “Benny, I’m going to trust you to do one spell from this book.  _ One spell.  _ If I find out you did more, there will be consequences. These spells are extremely dangerous.”

Benny nods, muttering a half hearted agreement that causes Ethan to cringe lightly. He waits in anticipation for a lecture that never comes. She just gives a stern look and gives them the book, it opened on the page they need. “I just planted wolfsbane in the backyard but you’ll need to find the other items all on your own... Werewolves are no easy foe, they’re more vicious than vampires.” She leaves them to figure things out on their own, her supernatural hunting days far behind her. If she could be out there with them, she would. But she’s grown old and brittle, unable to stand her own in physical confrontations.

Ethan reads the book, getting closer to Benny in order to do so. “Huh, that’s not a lot of ingredients.”

“This is some really complex stuff. Not only is it a spell, but there are also physical elements needed to work it. No wonder grandma hasn’t even let me see these,” they mutter, focusing on reading.

After a few minutes of silence, Benny finally speaks up. “I think I get the general idea of it. The wolfsbane is just a precautionary measure,” They remark, placing the old leather bookmark between the pages. “Do you know where we can find silver and a moonstone?’

Ethan gives Benny a quizzical look, entirely confused. “What do we need a moonstone for?”

“It’s like a, uh, power source I guess. The moonstone holds the power of the moon and we can use the power to power the spell and affect their transition. That way the werewolf is stuck in some kind of limbo to where we can kill it with the silver.”

“My mom has special silver knives,” Ethan states, thinking of all the trouble he’ll get in for touching them.

Benny gives their iconic grin, putting the spellbook under their arm. “Let’s go kill a werewolf.”

\--

Apparently, there wasn’t a single shop in Whitechapel that sold moonstones. Of course not. Just their luck. After ten minutes of arguing, Ethan finally relents and calls Sarah. She picks up after the first couple rings and Ethan freezes, his mind going blank. His hands sweat profusely and he panics, images of his failed date rushing back to his head. “Uh… Ethan?” Ethan could hear Sarah say through the phone.

Silence hangs in the air as Benny rolls their eyes, groaning in frustration. They motion with their hands to say something,  _ anything,  _ instead of stand there in silence. Ethan snaps out of it and takes a deep breath. “Hey Sarah,” he spits out awkwardly, “We  _ may _ have a situation here and we  _ may _ need your help.”

He could hear Sarah sigh on the other end, getting off some sort of furniture. “I’ll be there in five.”

The call drops and Ethan lets out the breath he was holding. He shifts to face Benny who is giving him a look. One that Ethan knew well. “Wow. That was kind of pathetic.”

Benny laughs and Ethan tries to look upset but can’t help smile a bit. He loved it when Benny laughed genuinely. It was a sound that could brighten the room no matter what. “Rude,” is all that Ethan can manage to say as he punches their arm.

“I’m just saying, that had to be the most awkward thing I’ve ever seen. And I’ve seen Rory hit on Erica more times than I can count.”

Ethan furrows his brows further, trying to pout a bit. “Shut up,” he whines, crossing his arms.

Benny laughs again and ruffles his hair, bending down to be on Ethan’s level. Ethan feels the blood rush to his cheeks and his heart flutter against his own will. He looks up for a split second, seeing Benny’s features clearly. They’re smiling softly, eyes showing so much care that his heart leapt into his throat. Bashfully, he quickly darts his head to the side, looking away from his friend. At a loss for words, he lets out a huff that he didn’t even know he was holding. “You’re an asshole,” he sputters.

Benny stops leaning, returning to their full height. They shove their hands in their pockets and look down the street. “I know, but you’re just so fun to tease,” they say, trying to play it off.

The next few minutes of waiting for Sarah outside of Ethan’s house went by quickly, Benny somehow saving the conversation to talk about the last werewolf they knew. The dude was honestly not a bad guy. He was funny, kind, very handsome. Benny really liked him. He never really did anything wrong and just played football. But this new wolf, it was a problem. Most of the supernatural here were smart enough to not leave bodies laying around or hunt from the town square. It was worrisome to think about what was going on to make someone be that vicious.

Sarah pulls up in her car, parallel parking in the spot right in front of Ethan’s house. She gets out and meets them on the sidewalk. Crossing her arms, she gives the pair a look. “What do you dorks need?”

Ethan stands there, rigid, staring at Sarah. The sweat on his palms return and he can’t seem to move. Benny bumps Ethan lightly, trying to be encouraging, but realizes they’re going to have to do the talking for now. “We need to buy a moonstone. And fast.”

Shifting her weight to her other foot, she glares at them, annoyed and confused. “Can’t you just get that yourselves? It’s a ten minute walk to the town square.”

“We tried. Apparently no one around here even knows what a moonstone is. We need a ride to the next town over,” Benny states, scratching the back of their head.

Sarah takes a minute to contemplate, looking from Ethan to Benny, trying to read their faces. She groans and decides to give in. “What do you even need this moonstone for and why is it so urgent?”

They move towards the car, Benny pushing Ethan to sit in the passenger seat. They get in the back and quickly shut the door, ignoring the glares that Ethan is sending them. “I need it for a spell because the thing eating people is a really angry werewolf.”

Benny explains the situation as they start to drive off, starting from the bodies and then to what Benny’s grandma had given them. Sarah listens intently and looks worried. The vampire council was pissed about the current happenings, looking for people to blame. They were pointing fingers at each other and no one could really get to a solid conclusion. It was a serious thing to leave bodies behind like that for the townsfolk to find. After the conversation, the car was left in an uncomfortable silence, Sarah and Ethan glancing between each other every so often. 

“Wow okay you guys really need to sort whatever is going on,” Benny blurts out, clearly uncomfortable with the energy that was engulfing the car.

Sarah and Ethan both let out strangled noises, Ethan turning to give Benny an exasperated look. Benny inhales deeply and blows the air out of his mouth. “It’s really fucking awkward in here… Just-” Benny pauses, “Just sort it out.”

Benny shoves earbuds in their ears and turns up the volume loud enough to where Ethan could hear the words. He twiddles his thumbs, glancing over at Sarah who was pointedly looking at the road. “Hey Sarah,” Ethan starts, giving a long pause. He can see her look at him momentarily before shifting her focus back to the street.

“I’m really sorry. For ditching you that night. I know you know it wasn’t on purpose but I need to say it again. If it weren’t for that demon chasing Benny around, I would have stayed. I mean, his life was in serious danger and he really needed help. But I wanted to stay so bad. I really care about you and you mean a lot to me. I really like you and I don’t want you to think otherwise.”

Sarah smiles lightly, shifting her focus again to Ethan and then the road. Her smile fades and is replaced with a look of guilt. “Look, Ethan. I know how you feel about me. You’ve made that  _ very  _ clear. And I’m no longer upset about the date,” she pauses for a second, struggling to find the proper wording. “It’s just that… You leaving me like that gave me a lot to think about and contemplate. I love you, but I don’t think it’s in the way you want me to. You have done so much for me and I will always be grateful for that, you will always be one of my best friends. But… I don’t think it will work out between us. I’m sorry.”

Ethan tries not to cry, rubbing his eyes and taking slow breaths. He always knew this was coming. He predicted it from the start. There was no way a girl like her would ever like a guy like him. Not in a million years. No matter how close they were or what they’ve been through together. He smiles lightly, glad she doesn’t hate him. No matter how much it hurt to be rejected like that, he valued her and her friendship more than any romantic feelings he held. “Thank you for telling me,” He whispers, trying to hide the breaking of his voice. “For what it’s worth, you will always be one of my best friends too. Nothing will change that.”

“I know,” she says softly, the smile returning to her face. 

The rest of the car ride was sat in comfortable silence, both being at peace with each other. Of course Ethan was hurt, he loved her, but he sure as hell wasn’t going to let her know that. He could tell she felt guilty. That she wasn’t happy with herself. He was going to hold it in as long as he could. Or at least as long as she wasn’t around.

\--

After they bought the proper sized gemstone, Sarah drives them back and drops them off at Ethan’s house. Sarah tells them to call her if they need help but she has some important things to do. She quickly leaves them to their own devices, standing in front of Ethan’s house. They look at each other, not really sure what to do. The sun was on the horizon, starting to set. “Let’s go on up,” Benny says, lightly touching Ethan’s back to usher him towards the house.

His back felt the warm, lingering touch that Benny had left, which spread a warm feeling across his chest. One that he welcomed early to help the pain.

They both reach Ethan’s room, Benny sitting at his desk. Ethan moves closer, leaning over his friend to look at the book as well. He barely understood it but he pretended like he did. Benny scans the pages again, stopping at a section before groaning. “What is it?” Ethan questions.

“We have to wait until the full moon,” they read, rubbing the sides of their head.

“Where does it say that?” Ethan asks, putting his hand on the desk and leaning in closer to look over Benny’s shoulders. He could hear Benny’s breath momentarily falter before they point at a spot in the book.

Ethan reads it and sure as shit it says that for the moonstone to fully work, it has to be a full moon. He sighs and stands back upright, walking over to his closet. He pulls out some pjs all while frustratedly shaking his head. They would have to wait another night to stop this person, whoever they are. Benny bookmarks the spot once again and grabs the shorts off the desk. The two face opposite of each other while they change into more comfortable clothing for the night.

Finally settling down, Ethan lets the conversation he and Sarah had get to him. After everything, he was rejected. And it really hurt. He feels himself deflate as his nose gets stuffed and his eyes water. Benny quickly walks to him, lightly grabbing his arms. “E, what’s wrong? Are you okay?” They ask softly.

“You know when you gave space for me and Sarah to talk?” Benny nods their head gently. “Well she uh… She rejected me. She said that she only likes me as a friend.”

Benny lets go and leans down, holding Ethan’s face in their hands. They wipe his tears and try to give a soft smile. “I’m so sorry,” they say, taking a long pause. “It’ll be okay though”

The pair stare at each other for a moment, the warm feeling returning to Ethan’s chest. His stomach lurched and settled after a second. He sniffles and Benny pulls him into a hug, rocking side to side. They stay there like that for minutes, Ethan crying into Benny’s chest with his arms wrapped tightly around them. Neither wanted to let go but both knew they would have to eventually.

“Let’s lay down,” Benny whispers tenderly into Ethan’s ear. Ethan nods his head as to say okay without actually saying the words. Benny leads them both to the bed, pulling back the duvet. They both slide under the blanket and pull it over themselves. Benny lays on their side and faces Ethan. Deciding fuck it and breaking boundaries that have never been crossed before, Ethan presses his face against Benny’s chest and wraps his arms around their torso. They tense at first but then slowly relax to return the favor, petting his head comfortingly. 

“Thank you, Red,” Ethan mumbles, nuzzling into Benny ever so slightly. 

“No problem, Blue,” Benny replies, pulling him closer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope you enjoyed this work so far, I've been having some fun writing it. 
> 
> Pleas consider following my twitter ( twitter.com/aphrodesiiaa ) and supporting me on there


	3. Rory and The Wolf

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry it took me so long to get this update out. I am currently in the middle of moving and it’s been hard to find free time to write. I will be fully moved into the university dorms by the 18th of this month but classes also start on the 24th. It will take a while to get used to my new schedule so I’m very sorry in advance if the chapter updates slow down a lot.
> 
> Thank you so much for supporting this fic and I hope you enjoy this chapter.

Benny blearily opens their eyes, not quite ready to face the day. Not only did they know there would be another one dead, they didn’t want to acknowledge the elephant in the room. Or more accurately in their arms. They had awoken in the same position they had fallen asleep in, Ethan carefully tucked into their chest. This was definitely not the time to be thinking about their own feelings. Ethan just had the biggest heartbreak, possibly of his entire life, and it would be selfish.

Benny had only seen Ethan cry a handful of times, mostly when they were kids and over stupid things. Not that it was wrong or unmanly for men to cry, it just wasn’t something Benny was quite used to yet. Especially because Ethan was overly conscious of how many people perceived him to be. He tended to follow the ideology that men were strong and couldn’t show weakness and it made Benny feel an array of emotions. Mostly he felt sorry for him. Sorry that men felt they had to hold themselves back like that. It angered them to no end that the patriarchy tied any semblance of emotion to weakness. 

Ethan was still sleeping, or at least they still think he is, so they refrain from moving too much. Instead, they elect to pet Ethan’s hair, thinking that it’ll be comforting if he wakes up. 

Maybe about an hour and a half later, Ethan yawns, Benny taking this as a sign that he’s up. They move to scoot back and let Ethan have some space, not knowing if he’ll need it or not. Ethan rubs his eyes, yawns once more, stretches, and then faces Benny. He smiles faintly, which causes Benny’s fragile heart to skip a beat. “Are you up for a day of excitement?” Benny asks sarcastically, trying to ignore the rapid thumping of their heart.

Ethan rolls over and groans into the bed sheets for comedic effects, causing them to laugh a little. “Why can’t we have just  _ one week  _ where nothing weir happens,” he says, slightly muffled but Benny could still tell he raised his voice a little.

Ethan rolls back just a smidge to be able to look at Benny. For dramatic effect, they pretend to flip their hair. “We’re just too hot to ignore.”

They both pause for a moment before bursting out laughing. Ethan sits up, trying to catch his breath. If it was one thing they were known for, it was not looks. Even if Benny thought Ethan had a smile that could put the sun to shame. The laughter stops and they smile at each other, just soaking in each other’s presence. It was nice, relaxing even, until a sharp knock was heard at the window. The pair’s head shot over to see who it was, already knowing.

“Hey guys, can you let me in?” Rory asks, floating just outside the window.

Ethan rushes to the window, opens it, mutters a quick welcome, and then crosses his arms, clearly a bit annoyed. Rory flies in, dropping to their feet. They’re sporting yet another cool skirt, this time yellow themed with the pan flag as a belt. “Come on Rory, can’t you just use the front door? What if someone saw you?”

They smile and walk to the bed to sit next to Benny, which Benny didn’t mind that much. They bump shoulders with Rory, in a friendly manner, before quickly darting their gaze back to Ethan-- who looked more upset than he was before. “I would have but I didn’t know if your parents were up and I didn’t want to wake them. Besides, the window is way more fun. Adds a little adventure.”

Ethan huffs out, frustrated, Rory clearly not getting his point. “Adventure? Your whole life is a goddamn adventure, you’re a vampire for fucks sake. Also we have phones for a reason. You could have texted.”

Rory’s face twists into one of contemplation before shrugging their shoulders and looking back at Ethan with a goofy grin. “I didn’t think of that.”

Benny laughs and puts his arm around Rory’s shoulders, using their free hand to ruffle Rory’s hair. They tease the other about being empty-headed and they both laugh, clearly happy. Out of the corner of Benny’s eye, they can see Ethan rub his face, clearly pissed. Their stomach drops. “Can you just get the the fucking point of why you’re here?”

Benny stands, walking over to Ethan, hunched slightly as to give a comforting demeanor. “Hey hey hey, it’s okay. Why are you so upset? They didn’t get caught and also it’s like seven in the morning. The only people awake right now is my grandma and the weird old guy down the street. What’s really wrong?”

Benny watches as he deflates, clearly annoyed about something other than Rory coming through the window. “Sorry just… Really tired and grumpy. Anyways Rory, why are you here? You didn’t say anything about wanting to come over on Friday.”

Rory gets comfortable, leaning back on their arms. “Erica texted me last night saying you might need help. Of course, I was busy getting some dinner so I didn’t see the text until like two hours ago and decided to check up on y’all so see if you’re doing okay and not dead or anything.”

Benny and Ethan both glance at each other, deciding what to do. On one hand, they didn’t know how well a vampire and a werewolf confrontation would go over and on the other they probably could use some extra help from someone with super strength. Ethan gives Benny a nod of affirmation, on the same page as them. “You definitely got some luck on you, we do need help, just not last night. Tonight. We need your help tonight.” Benny gets out, rambling a bit.

“Alright. What’s the plan?”

Benny explains the spell, the stone’s purpose, the silver, and what they would need to do. It doesn’t take long but it takes long enough for their feet to grow tired and for them to start to feel weary. They plop down on the chair at Ethan’s desks, yawning a bit. 

“So what I’m hearing is that you guys have no coherent plan yet?” Rory says in the form of a question, moving a bit.

“What? No! We totally have a solid plan. Right Ethan?”

“Pft totally. Benny’s just an idiot and can’t explain things properly,” he retorts, tone dripping in obvious lies and sarcasm.

Benny gasps, feigning their feelings being hurt. They lightly punch Ethan on the arm. Rory raises an eyebrow, causing them to suddenly feel conscious about their obvious feelings. After a few seconds of uncomfortable silence, Ethan starts explaining a real plan, giving each member of the group a task to complete in order to take down the werewolf. Rory was to distract it, engage it in a fight. After Rory starts fighting with it, Benny’s job is to use the moonstone and do the spell. Finally, Ethan was to go and stab it with the silver knife, killing it. They all agreed on it being a solid plan, Rory having nothing to add.

“Well we have approximately,” Benny pauses to look at their watch, “twelve hours till sundown. Now I don’t know about you two, but I’m not going to do well monster fighting if I don’t get more sleep. I’m going back to bed.”

Benny flops down on the bed, face first. They hear Benny and Rory have a conversation, probably also talking to them, but they could care less. All they wanted right now was a good and proper rest. 

\--

Benny wakes up several hours later to laughing and shouting. Normally, it would annoy the hell out of them, but his best friends sounded like they were actually enjoying themselves and getting along. Not often did Ethan and Rory actually get along to the point of being this comfortable. For some reason, around the end of middle school he started to treat them as a nuisance. Benny, of course, was a bit guilty of this as well, but they weren’t outright annoyed by Rory’s presence like Ethan was. When they were younger, Rory, Ethan, and Benny would run around Benny’s backyard and pretend to be Power Rangers,fighting invisible aliens and creating epic battles. Rory was always the green ranger while Ethan was the blue and Benny was the red. Power Rangers was just their thing and their playdates formed a bond that Benny could never forget. It was nice to see their best friends getting along together like they used to.

“Oh come on!” They hear Ethan cry out, a little frustrated at the game he was playing.

“Hahahaha eat shit!” Rory calls out jokingly, readjusting how they sit in the chair.

Ethan’s room is relatively small but not cramped. It has enough space for a desk under the window, the bed across from the desk, and in the corner diagonal from the door was a mounted TV surrounded by a bean bag and one of those disc chairs. It was every 13 year old’s dream when Ethan first decorated it.

Benny slides to the right corner of the bed, watching the two go at it. Currently, Rory was just barely winning, having a bit more health than Ethan does. They continue to play against each other for a while, dealing out “harsh” taunts at each other every time it gets to the point in the game where someone almost dies. Benny couldn’t help but smile and laugh occasionally, their friends really making them happy.

After a while, the game ends and the two turn to look at Benny. Ethan smiles softly and Rory flashes a big toothy grin. They really loved their friends. “Want to play?” Ethan says, holding his controller out for Benny to grab.

“Absolutely,” they say, grabbing the controller with no hesitation.

Ethan and Benny switch spots to make it easier for Benny to game. After the character selection, Rory makes sure to select the location that they knew Benny loved the most. The two began playing as soon as the word “Fight” flashed off the screen. They both go at each other immediately, Rory knowing the combinations and Benny just button mashing. The more Benny started to win, the more exasperated Rory got. 

“Oh come on!”

  
  
  


Benny laughs and continues to play like they were, button mashing to all hell. After a minute or so, the word “K.O” rang out from the speakers and Rory was jokingly upset. They’d never actually get mad over a video game, they weren’t like that, but they can always pretend like they are just for laughs. “You’re a button masher, that has to be illegal in some way. You got lucky.”

“Doc, you’re just mad that I’m better than you,” Benny says, smirking and elbowing Rory on the shoulder.

“Ha! No way. If you were better than me you wouldn’t need to button mash.”

They continue to tease each other like that, going back and forth with Ethan adding in a few comments here and there. It was honestly one of the best times Benny has had recently. The last time the three of them were in a room together having this much fun was back when they were in middle school. They really missed it. Lately all they’ve been able to do is hunt monsters and deal with their schools over population of vampires. All Benny wanted is a day off of all the crazy shit they have to deal with.

“What are we going to do until sundown? It’s literally only noon.” Rory blurts out, crossing their arms and leaning back.

“Xe kind of has a point. I have no idea what we’re going to do for the next six hours,” Ethan says, leaning back on his bed, laying his head on his hands.

Benny smiles for a moment, looking back at Rory. They were so happy for Rory to be able to come out to someone else and equally as happy that Ethan was so nonchalant about it. They knew their crush wasn’t transphobic, especially after Erica came out, but they always had the thought in the back of their mind that Ethan would make fun of nonbinary people like everyone else. It made them satisfied and less scared to come out seeing otherwise. “What if we watch a few movies? That usually makes time fly when I’m over here.”

“I’ll go get the popcorn,” Ethan says, rolling off his bed, stretching, then going to walk out of his room.

For the next five minutes, Rory and Benny argue over what movie they should watch. On one hand, Rory wants to watch a horror movie, on the other, Benny wants to watch a romcom. They argue, Benny saying that nothing can be scarier than what they’ve already dealt with so they don’t need horror, and Rory complains that romcoms are for middle aged couples. They don’t stop arguing until Ethan comes back, him promptly just picking one and saying they would watch the other one next. 

The three of them settle down on the bed and watch the movies, electing to not think about what they’re going to have to do in a couple hours

\--

After the sun went down, Benny picked the wolfsbane and the trio went on their way to hunt down the werewolf. Hours and hours passed, the time nearing six in the morning. The sun would rise anytime within the hour and all of them were thoroughly pissed.

“Good god, how is it so hard to find a giant bloodthirsty wolf?” Ethan mumbles rhetorically.

And he was right. From what Ethan described, the wolf had to be at least 5’5 on all four legs. This thing was  _ massive  _ but also nowhere to be seen. Benny was getting visibly frustrated, knowing the spell only works on full moons. They  _ had  _ to find the werewolf otherwise it would be another month before they got the chance to take it down. A month is enough time for a ton of killing.

Benny groans, and wanders towards the outskirts of town, the other two following him sluggishly. They knew that if it was anywhere, it had to be in the forest. They spent the entirety of the night in town and the werewolf definitely was not there. 

While the trio looked around halfheartedly, Benny watched as Rory started to sniff the air and cringe. Rory looked disgusted and Benny knew that was a sign that they were getting close. “Ugh, it smells like rotten meat again.”

“Rory, please tell me you can track scents,” Benny whines.

“A little I guess. I can lead you in the general direction until we get close. Then the smell is too strong and I can’t tell where it’s coming from.”

Benny ponders this for a moment before deciding to just go with it. “Lead the way, bloodhound.” 

They follow Rory as they walk further to the right, tracking down the scent. Every second that passes, the more grossed out Rory looks. They get to a small meadow in a clearing, one that neither Benny nor Ethan has seen before. “This is as far as I can track it. The smell is way too strong now.”

They all stand in the clearing, eyes darting between the trees for glowing eyes or anything that would resemble a monster. Benny momentarily looks at the sky, looking as the near blackness was starting to get a blue hue to it. They were running out of time. In that moment of being distracted, huge, pounding footsteps came barreling towards Benny. They could hear Ethan screaming and Rory rushing towards them. Just in time, Rory manages to knock Benny out of the thing’s path.

Rory rolls and gets up, knowing the plan. “Hey barf breath, over here!” They call out, trying to get it’s attention. The wolf starts running towards them and they stand their ground. 

Benny gets up, running away from Rory. For this to work, Benny had to be out of harm's way. Ethan makes sure to run to where Rory is, brandishing the wolfsbane and the silver knife. As Benny was standing there, they got a good look at the wolf. It was disgusting. The fur was brown but covered head to toe in dark spots. It’s face looked feral and vicious. On its right shoulder area, below the neck, was a huge chunk of flesh missing. The wound looked absolutely foul. It was a mix of green, yellow, red, and purple. It was crusty and oozing pus every time the wolf made a big move. The smell of the infection itself was so bad that Benny could actually smell it. 

They try to ignore the sight of the thing, and instead try to quickly say the spell. But that was easier said than done, the spell looked like a very long run-on sentence that would take Benny a while to figure out how to pronounce correctly.

Rory and Ethan continue to fight the wolf, Rory taking most of the hits. Yes, Rory was basically invincible, but things still hurt and it was extremely unpleasant and painful. Not to mention they didn’t know what would happen if they, a vampire, got bit by it. Ethan made sure to shove the wolfsbane at it every so often, making it cringe away from them before coming back in for the attack. 

Ethan made a quick jab at it, slicing through the flesh on its chest. It howls out in anger and pain, not at all pleased with getting hurt like that. It runs for Ethan, pushing Rory out of the way. Ethan manages to duck and roll out of its path but it quickly changed directions and ran after him. He cries out, shoving the wolfsbane at it once more. The wolf backs up, starting to circle around him. Its deep, guttural growls rumbled Ethan’s inside and made him fear for his life.

The wolf lunges out, pinning Ethan to the ground. The two of them fight, Ethan using his legs to try and push at the wolf’s throat to avoid getting bitten. The wolfsbane was now nearly ineffective, it not caring much and still trying to go for the kill. When Ethan had been knocked over, the knife fell out of his hand and to the ground beside him. 

Right as the wolf was about to bite him, Rory pushes it off, pinning it to the ground. The two of them wrestle for dominance, snarling, hissing, and snapping at each other. Benny manages to cast the spell properly and the wolf freezes in place, everything stopping. It couldn’t even make a sound as it was held there. Rory stops for a second, trying to catch their breath. After a few seconds, Rory picks the knife up off the ground and holds it above their head, ready to plunge it down. But… They pause

The sun makes its way over the horizon, light peeking over the treetops. Benny and Ethan run to Rory’s aid, thinking something was wrong. Once they got there, they realized what was happening. Beneath Rory, immobilized, was a teen. He was naked, covered in blood head to toe, and had the same wounds as earlier, the huge chunk out of his shoulder and the slice across the chest. He started crying, stressed and unable to say anything. Rory slowly lowers the knife, looking shocked and also sad. Before they could question him, the boy blacked out, leaving the three of them clueless.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading. I hope you liked this chapter
> 
> please consider supporting me on twitter ( twitter.com/aphrodesiiaa )


	4. Rory Deserves a Break

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for being understanding about my move. It’s really hard to write while moving and it’s really nice to see positivity despite that. 
> 
> Today’s chapter is Rory centered. It’s mostly just Rory’s feelings and some moments that xe definitely needed to have.
> 
> Special thank you to my friend Kai for helping with the dialogue of this chapter. I am really awkward in conversation so it’s hard for me to come up with good dialogue, so thank them. Consider following them ( twitter.com/chillbending )

Rory continues to hover over the boy beneath xir, still shocked into silence. It was one thing for them to be fighting in wolf form, but out of wolf form he looked so helpless and small. His skin was turning yellowish gray compared to the tan color it once was and his mop of curly brown hair was lifeless and covered in blood, making it stick to his head. He looked like he was in absolute agony, even while passed out, and it made xir feel terrible. Xe didn’t really know how werewolf turnings felt but xe knew how terrible vampire turning felt before drinking blood. It made xir feel hollowed out, like someone took a scoop to xir insides, and it felt like fire throughout. It was the worst pain Rory had felt in xir life. This kid’s infection mixed with turning must be so much worse.

Rory stays silent as Ethan and Benny argue about whether or not to get the teen to Evalyn or not. Xe couldn’t think of anything important right now, just the defenseless werewolf. There was something about him that Rory couldn’t shake off and it just made xir feel like the air was sucked out of xir lungs. “He needs clothes.”

Benny and Ethan pause their arguing, turning to look at the two of them. “Huh?”

“He needs some clothes. We can’t take him back to Benny’s grandma naked,” Rory says flat out, making the decision for them. It wasn’t like Rory to be serious so Benny reluctantly goes along with it.

Everyone forks up as much clothing as they could. Benny always wears two shirts so they take off the striped polo they had on and gently put it on him while Ethan gives up the sweatpants he had on over his sleeping shorts. Rory offers to carry him, being the strongest out of all of them. For once, no one protests and lets xir do what xe had to do.

The walk back to Benny’s seemed longer and gloomier than it had ever been. Their usual happy nature gone and silence looming over them, Rory tries to walk faster, just wanting to get the boy to safety. Xe had never been one for killing, it always made xir feel bad, but seeing the absolute terror and confusion in that boy's eyes took something out of xir that night. Usually when Rory feeds, xe does it on animals or willing participants. Xe hated being a thing for people to fear. It hurt even worse when xe could hell xir friends were still scared that xe would randomly bite them despite the two years of never doing so. Their lack of trust was starting to take all the fun xe had being a vampire. 

Eventually, the trio makes it back to Benny’s house, sneaking in through the backyard so that the neighbors don’t see them carrying what looks like a corpse. As silently as possible, Rory places the werewolf in the bathtub of the downstairs bathroom. Slowly, they all turn to each other, basically having the same question in mind. What to do next. Ethan motions to under the sink, where the first aid kit was being held. Rory and Benny look back in confusion and with an exasperated sigh, Ethan pulls out the first aid kit. Ethan and Benny take off the shirt they put on him, preparing to dress the wound. 

Finally coming back to xir senses, the smell from the wound makes Rory have to exit the bathroom. Xe just couldn’t handle it anymore and xe cursed his vampiric senses. Rory sits on the couch, buzzing with anxiety. Of course xe could still smell the rot but being further away helped slightly. 

After nearly forty minutes, Rory watches as Evalyn comes down the stairs. She momentarily pauses, confused, but after a short wave from Rory she continues down and brushes it off. Rory knew she could see the rough shape xe was in but was choosing not to question xir at the moment. She brews herself a cup of coffee and looks between Rory and the bathroom door. After taking a long sip, she sets her cup down and turns her gaze to Rory. “Care to explain what’s going on?”

Rory pauses, holding his breath, before giving in with a defeated sigh. “We were fighting the werewolf but the sun rose and he passed out. We didn’t know what to do so we took him here.”

Evalyn takes another long drink of her coffee before heading down to the basement, shaking her head. Rory waits in uncomfortable silence for a few minutes, hearing rummaging from the basement. Later, she comes up with a spell book and a jar full of blue liquid. Rory follows her to the bathroom where Ethan and Benny were trying their hardest to clean the wound. “Step aside,” she says calmly, walking towards the bathtub.

Benny and Ethan move as she kneels down. They watch as she quietly mutters a spell from the book and watch the cut on his chest heal and the giant wound start to change color. She pours the blue potion onto his wound and the infection fades. All that’s left is the chunk of flesh missing. She turns to them, standing up and brushing off her pants. “This is the best we can do for now until i make a new potion. Just put the gauze on his shoulder until it’s done.”

Ethan carefully bandages the kid’s shoulder, trying his best to not press on it or do anything in general that would be painful. It takes him a few minutes, everyone a bit antsy at the length of time it takes. Once he’s done, Rory carries him up to Benny’s room and sets him on the bed. Everyone crowds around, just staring at his almost lifeless form. After a long pause, Evalyn speaks up. “Everyone get to school. I doubt he’ll be up by the time you three are home.”

“Grandma do we have to?” Ethan whines, exhausted and not sure if they could mentally handle school right now. 

“Yes. Now get dressed and get going, I can’t have any of your grades slip any further or I won’t hear the end of it from your parents,” she says, motioning for them all to leave. 

Rory watches as Benny grabs a new pair of clothes as well as extra shirts. They all take a march to Ethan’s house to get ready, wanting to change somewhere without a half dead man in it. Once they all get to his room, Ethan pulls out a nice pair of jeans and a button up and walks to the bathroom to change, leaving Rory and Benny alone in his room. Rory looks around, not really wanting to change into Ethan’s clothes. It wasn’t that Ethan was a terrible dresser anymore, it was just that xe didn’t feel comfortable wearing that type of clothes. Most of Ethan’s things were lifeless with no colors and he had nothing feminine. After a bit of Rory looking around the closet and Benny changing behind xir, xe hear them cough and turn around to look at them. 

Benny was dressed in another one of their striped shirt and black undershirt combos. They didn’t look much different from what they usually wore besides the painted nails and smudged makeup. They were holding out shirts for Rory to grab, a blue and yellow striped sweater and a solid blue shirt. Xe takes it and smiles softly, realizing it matches with xir solid yellow skirt and pan belt. “I know it’s not much but I thought you’d at least want out of your bloody shirt.”

“Thanks… You’re the best,” xe mumbles softly, taking the clothes to put on. 

Xe quickly swaps shirts, putting the baggy sweater under the blue shirt and tucking it all into the waistband of xir skirt. Xe turns around, facing Benny once more. Rory smiles tenderly, all the usual obnoxious energy completely drained from xir body. They both head towards the door, almost running straight into Ethan. “We need to get to school asap, we’re running late as it is,” he says quickly, grabbing his back. 

—

“Ugh, why does Rory kind of smell like rotten meat? You didn’t eat dead people did you?” Erica asks, leaning against the locker beside Benny’s. 

“Ew. Absolutely not. I just didn’t have time to fully change,” Rory groans, shifting xir weight from one foot to the other.

“We were up  _ all night  _ looking for that stupid werewolf,” Benny mutters, shoving the proper books from the first half of the day into their bag. It was heavy and hurt but they found out two years ago that it was far more efficient than going to their locker after every class period. 

“Sarah was telling me about that. Did you get it?” Erica questions, leaning less against the locker and standing up more, clearly interested. Rory was getting good at reading her body language. After two years of being friends and rejected over and over again, they settled into a supportive close friendship where they tell each other everything. It was nice and exactly what Rory needed. It had been a while since Rory was able to talk about personal stuff to anyone.

“Umm… I guess you can say that,” Ethan says slowly, not knowing how to phrase it.

Looking over the three of them, Erica drops it. Rory watches as Sarah walks up to their group. Her eyes never reach Ethan’s, who looks like that’s all he wants in that moment. Sarah leans into Erica, trying to make it look natural. She looked exhausted and like she just needed comfort. The silence was a bit awkward, everyone knowing that Sarah rejected Ethan but refusing to acknowledge it. She opens her mouth to say something but the bell rings suddenly, giving them all the much needed escape. 

\--

Halfway through school Rory just had to leave. It was hard to pay attention and xe was a ball of nervous energy. Xe makes a quick break out the doors and for the spot xe always went to when xe was feeling stressed. Already sitting out was the blanket that xe would sit or lay on. Typically xe would put it away but lately xe has been forgetting things. 

Rory lays on the blanket, staring at the sky through the shade of the leaves. It was a nice day but just felt off. Xe lays there, closing xir eyes and soaking in the warmth of the sun. Xe missed being able to sunbathe but what xe was doing right now was good enough. The cozy atmosphere made xir relax and get rid of a lot of tension. Everything will change, xir friends will grow old and die, but nature, sunlight, warmth, will always be there. It’s the one thing that xe could rely on to stay the same. And it was calming. 

After thinking about nothing for a while, xe hears footsteps getting closer and then a body plopping on the ground. Rory opens xir eyes to see Jesse sitting down next to xir, back against the tree, looking down fondly. Xir mood quickly changes to one of delight, spinning around and sitting up. “You’re here.” 

He looks away slightly, rubbing the back of his neck, a bit nervous and ashamed. He had always been one to avoid situations but Rory was a light in the dark for him. Rory saw the best in him and pushed him to change and it was working. “I almost didn’t show.”

Rory moves closer, trying to be as comforting as possible. “Why not?”

Jesse sighs, deflating a bit. He looked visibly worn down and tired. It was clear that he had a war going on inside of him. Still not looking xir in the eyes, he answers. “I don’t want to talk about it right now.”

“That’s okay. Just know I’m always here for you,” xe smiles, grabbing his hand and pulling him to lay on the blanket.

They both lay back and look at the wind sift through the trees. Xir eyes dart between the branches and Jesse every so often, wanting to make sure Jesse feels okay. Jesse had done a lot of bad things and Rory knew that but xe couldn’t help but look deeper. Xe was never the best judge of character but xe knew Jesse just had something else going on. He wasn’t evil. He wasn’t even malicious. He was just lonely and wanted someone to love him. And xe could do that.

Rory closes xir eyes and touches xir head to Jesse’s shoulder. Xe could feel him shifting slightly until he was resting his head on the top of xirs. Xe could feel xemself relax once more, the stiffness in xir body leaving. Even if xe could feel xir heart race, it was still nice. Xe was touch starved and just wanted someone to be there for xir. 

A gentle breeze picks up, rustling the leaves and bringing a pleasant feeling to the pair. It was not strange to have a random warm day like this in October but it was the norm either. Rory stays unmoving, just wanting to savor the moment. Things like this don’t happen often, especially not to xir, so xe wanted to make sure xe has the best time possible. Xe closes xir eyes, tranquil. 

“Hey Jesse?”

Jesse shifts a bit, trying to meet his eyes to xirs. “Yes?”

“Do you ever miss the sunlight?” Xe rolls on xir side, completely facing Jesse. He stares through the branches of the trees, facing the sky. 

“Sometimes I do. I miss being able to dance in the wildflowers,” he eventually says, his eyes full of longing. He turns a bit, forehead touching Rory’s. Xir heart starts to beat a little faster, nervous at the proximity of their faces. The moment was bitter sweet and xe couldn’t help but want to do something. An idea sprang to xir and xe sits up, grabbing both of Jesse’s hands.

“Meet me at six later, I have something for you.”

Jesse sits up as well, not pulling his hands back. Rory looks into his eyes, seeing something within them that he had never seen before. “Where?” Jesse asks.

Rory stands up, pulling Jesse with xir. “I’m sure you can find me.”

\--

Rory makes xir way back to school just in time to meet Ethan and Benny outside. Dread filled xir stomach once more and xe lets the situation settle back in, xir pleasant afternoon fading into the background. Wordlessly all of them make their way back to Benny’s. 

Benny opens the front door of the house, the atmosphere of the house gloomy and feeling like impending doom. Evalyn was nowhere in sight so they walked up the stairs to Benny’s room. In the room the teen was still in the bed. Bedside was Evalyn, renewing the bandages. An empty potion bottle sat on the desk and the boy’s wound looked a lot better. Almost completely healed in fact. “He should be waking up soon. Make sure at least one of you is there when he does,” she says, moving past them to exit the room.

Rory moves closer to the bed carefully taking a look at him. He didn’t want to see the near dead kid in that state again but laying there he looked so much better. Life returned to his features, bringing a glow to him. His curly hair was still disheveled but it looked more like someone who has bed head more than someone sickly. He was taking deeper and more solid breaths than before as well. Rory couldn’t help but mentally applaud Evalyn for doing so well to heal him.

The three of them stand around not really knowing what they should be doing till he woke up. They all knew they should be there for when he did but didn’t know what to do in the meantime. Benny sits in the chair that goes with their desk, staring at the floor. Ethan coughs and rubs the back of his neck. “I think I’m going to go grab him some water for when he wakes up.” With that, Ethan leaves the room and heads down stairs.

As if for comedic timing, the boy starts to move, sighing tiredly. He tries to sit up but groans in pain, holding his head. It takes time but he slowly becomes more aware of his surroundings. Rory walks closer to the bed and he jumps slightly, clearly terrified. “Where am I? Who are you,” he blurts out quickly, trying to inch as far away from the other two as quickly as possible.

“Hey hey hey, calm down it’s okay. You’re at their house,” Rory answers, motioning towards Benny. 

“Calm down? You were trying to kill me! I’m not exactly in a situation where I should be calm,” the teen rambles, eyes darting across the room. Rory could practically feel the anxiety he was radiating.

Benny stands up, getting a little defensive. They walk to Rory’s side and give the boy a look of skepticism. “Woah there, last time I checked, you were trying to  _ eat _ us.”

A look of shame passes over his pained face. Rory could tell he was thinking about last night, most likely the parts where he almost mauled Ethan. The teen looks down in shame, picking at his fingernails. He sighs and looks back up at them.

“Anyways that doesn’t explain who you are… Or why you’re holding me hostage.”

Rory watches as Benny’s face twists into one of annoyance, clearly not liking the way this guy was accusing them of shit that was clearly not the case. “We aren’t! And you should be thanking us. If we left you there you would have died.” Benny pauses. They open their mouth as if they were going to say something else but Rory didn’t want to escalate things.

“Sorry… I’m Rory and this is Benny. We only took you here to save your life. The wound on your shoulder was pretty disgusting,” xe quickly blurts out cutting off Benny.

The boy goes silent again, clearly thinking about what the both of them said. Rory listens as Ethan walks up the stairs water glasses in hand. He enters the room and momentarily stops while looking between all of them. He shakes it off and places the glass in the other boy’s hands, quickly backing away.

“What’s in this?”

Ethan pauses for a moment, looking puzzled and dumbfounded. It was clear what it was. “Uhh… Water?” he says, a bit confused.

The boy smells the liquid inside for a few seconds. He was clearly skeptical of all of them and untrusting. After a bit, he takes a cautionary sip before quickly chugging the contents of the glass. Once he was done he kept the glass in his hands, fiddling it around a bit. 

“So… Are you guys monsters too?” he asks nervously.

“Not all of us. Benny and I are humans and Rory is a vampire,” Ethan responds, pointing at the proper people. 

“Hey, don’t compare us to normal people,” Benny whines. “I’m a spellmaster and Ethan here is a seer. He gets visions, that’s how we found out about you.”

The kid takes another moment to process everything. He looks between the three of them, not really knowing where to start. Slowly, he stares at Rory, which makes xir insides flip. “Vampire huh? So did you..” the kid pauses, not knowing how to phrase it.

“Get attacked? Sort of. It’s complicated. I was at a party and was a little out of it. The party was run by a huge clan of vampires and they were initiating new vampires. I think I was supposed to die but I guess they didn’t drain me all the way and I turned into one,” xe rambles, oversharing a bit.

The boy looks a little more relaxed now, settling into the bed and being cautious of his shoulder. “I remember I was outside on my nightly jog when the biggest wolf I had ever seen pounces on the people around me. It killed everyone and bit the living hell out of my shoulder. I don’t know why it didn’t kill me but after biting me it just ran off. Then the times after that were living hell. I would get really bad jaw pains and black out for hours at a time. Last night is the only night I remember and…”

They all pause, knowing what he meant. Rory frowns. Xe understood that pain. When xe was first turned, xe hardly remembered most of what xe did. It took a while to get used to being a supernatural being. Your brain and body have to completely rewire and it is not a fun process. Xe still couldn’t remember most of what happened in xir first few weeks of being one.

“It’s okay. I understand. I was the same way when I was first turned into a vampire. I’m just lucky I had someone experienced to guide me through it until I got used to it,” Rory says, trying to make xir voice sound comforting.

Everyone stays quiet, not knowing how to break the awkward silence. It was a hard thing to talk about. Benny suddenly gasps, having a great idea. “Rory I got it. How about you guide him and make sure he doesn’t hurt anyone. Win-Win, we don’t have to kill anyone and he doesn’t have to die.”

“Wow. Way harsh Benny. But yeah I can do that.”

They talk out a plan together, including the werewolf in it as well. After the kid finally heals, Rory was to stay with him every night and teach him how to control his powers. If anything got risky, Rory would call Ethan and Benny to come help out and subdue him. It wasn’t the greatest of plans but it was all they could come up with. 

\--

Rory makes xir way with a basket to the edge of a meadow and sits down in the treeline. The meadow wasn’t super big but it was beautiful. One side of the meadow was surrounded by the trees and the other side was a cliff. From where xe was sitting, xe could see the horizon and the sunset without being touched by the light. 

It doesn’t take long for Jesse to sit next to xir after tracking xir. Rory beams at him, so happy to see him. They don’t say anything to each other but instead just look at each other. Rory watched as Jesse gazed at his surroundings. The flowers, the cliff, the sunset. Everything. Jesse’s features soften and he turns back to face Rory. Nothing needs to be said, his eyes say everything. Rory lays xir head on his shoulder and gently interlocks xir pinky with his. They sit like that, watching the sunset and soaking in each other's presence. Jesse leans his head against xirs, his temple against the top of xir head. 

Once the sun goes down Rory moves them to the middle of the clearing. Xe takes the large blanket out of xir basket, laying it down on the grass. Xe also removes a speaker and two juice boxes that definitely didn’t have juice in them. “What’s that for?” Jesse questions, pointing at the speaker.

“You’ll see,” Rory answers, connecting xir phone to the bluetooth signal from the device. After a minute or so, gentle romantic music drifts from the speaker. Xe takes him by the hands and guides him further out. The music hangs in the air while the glowbugs start to light up from the grass and fly around.

Jesse gracefully places his hands on xir waist while xe puts xir arms on his shoulders. They slow dance in the flowers together, the bugs glowing and dancing around them too. Xe couldn’t seem to look away from his eyes, captured by the beauty within. The moment seemed like it could last forever, the two only needing each other. Jesse presses his forehead against xirs, closing his eyes and pulling xir closer. “Thank you, Rory. I… I really needed this.”

“You know I’d do anything for you.”

“Yeah. Yeah I do,” he whispers, pulling xir into a hug. Even while hugging, they continued to dance in the moonlight. 

One song after another continue from the speaker and they kept dancing until their feet hurt. They eventually decide to stop, resting on the blanket that was set out. The sky was clear and bright, stars twinkling brightly. Jesse talks about them, knowing every constellation and star by name. Hundreds of years of life allowed him to learn so much and it fascinated him. Rory loved listening to him talk about them, the look on his face enough to make xir melt. While he was talking, xe could see the universe in his eyes. Xe loved him. More than anything before. And xe wanted to protect this feeling forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading and i really hoped you enjoyed this chapter ! don’t be afraid to leave any feedback you may have.
> 
> please consider supporting me on twitter ( twitter.com/aphrodesiiaa )


	5. Benny's Lament

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!! I'm so sorry for taking so long to get this chapter up. I was going to post it last week but a lot of stuff has happened in my life. College is going great but more personal things have happened and my family is going through a rough patch right now. I might take even longer to post updates now because of how things are going. But don't worry, I'm not abandoning this story. I'm not even going on a hiatus, just taking a bit longer to update. Instead of updating every week, I think it will vary between a week and two weeks to update. Thank you for being so patient.
> 
> I really hope you like this chapter, I put a lot of effort into developing Benny more instead of writing them as static as I have been. I hope you are ready for some serious personal growth!!

“Are you okay to go home?” Benny asks, turning once more to face the teen in their bed. 

He groans, trying to sit up more. He tests his body for painful spots, finding only his head and left side hurting. It was bad to the point of it hurting to move but he could still walk, his legs were fine. “I think so,” he replies, voice breathy from the pain.

“Is anyone going to be concerned with you being gone?”

He shakes his head softly, immediately regretting it. “No. My dad is on a business trip and won’t be back until Friday.”

Benny starts rummaging through his closet, not wanting the kid to leave if he really was in that much pain. “Okay uh…”

“Enrique”

“Okay here’s the thing Enrique, sorry to say this bud but it really doesn’t look like you’re in any shape to go anywhere. My grandma and I are spell casters and we can give you things to make you more comfortable. You can stay here for a couple days if you want. At least until you get better.”

Benny grabs a few pairs of clothes from their closet, turning back to Enrique. They lean against the side of the closet, waiting for a response. He seems to mull it over, eyes darting from his shoulder to the room itself. After a few seconds and one deep sigh later, he sinks back into the bed. “Okay… But where are you going to stay? Isn’t this your room?” he asks, gesturing to all the nerdy decorations. It was clearly not a guest room.

“Oh Ethan’s is literally the next house over. I always stay at his house, don’t worry about it. Anyways, do you need anything?”

“Can I have something to eat?”

“Absolutely,” they say in a chipper tone. “What would you like?”

Enrique pauses, pondering what he wants. “Umm… I don’t know why but I’m seriously craving meat right now. Like hamburgers and steaks.”

Benny laughs earnestly, throwing their head back and clutching their gut. They knew why but it was still funny to them. Just like how they think back to catching Sarah eating rats made them laugh. “I got just the thing. Be right back bud.”

A few minutes later they come back with several pounds of raw meat, ranging from steaks to fish. He flashes them a disgusted look, clearly not cool with the idea of eating raw meat. Benny rolls their eyes and sets the food on the desk. “Almost all supernatural creatures eat raw meat. You should’ve seen this other werewolf we knew. He could tear through a pack of raw meat in seconds. Completely cleaned out the fridge.”

“What happened to him?”

“Oh nothing. He’s in college now. Living the university life,” Benny replies, sitting down in the spinny chair.

Enrique’s features scrunch up as if he were thinking about something unpleasant. He grips the duvet, messing around with it to try and calm down. “Did he ever…”

“Kill people? No not that I know of. But the situations for him turning were completely different and he was able to find out what he was before he did anything. And yeah, he learned how to control being a werewolf. So don’t worry about it. You will be okay.”

This seems to relax Enrique a bit. He stops nervously messing with the blanket, turning towards the food. Benny watches as he slowly eats the meat before scarfing it down like he had never eaten before. They laugh to themself a bit and walk to the door. “See? I told you. Anyways, if you need anything don’t hesitate to ask my grandma and I’m right next door.”

Benny lightly closes the door and walks down the stairs. Evalyn was brewing another potion so they leave her be, deciding to go check on Ethan. The house was empty so Benny walks in. They normally walk in by themself but when Ethan’s parents he decides to knock just in case. Quietly, Benny ascends the stairs and gently knocks on Ethan’s door. A sigh and quiet “come in” sounded from within so they slowly opened the door to see him laying down, facing the opposite wall. They sit on the edge of the bed, facing away from Ethan. “Hey… E… are you okay?”

“I don’t know, B. I don’t know,” he almost whispers, voice strained.

Benny shifts to get closer to Ethan, wanting to touch him but not wanting to break any boundaries. “Want to talk about it?”

They could feel his body tremble slightly, the movements vibrating the bed. It wrenched their heart to see him like this. He’s already been through so much. “It was just… Having the wolf over me like that. It was terrifying. If it weren’t for Rory I would have died. And I can’t get mad at anyone in this situation because I know he didn’t mean it. I know he wasn’t in control, Sarah and Erica have almost killed me so many times because of losing control. But it just feels different this time. I hate feeling this way.”

Benny turns, staring at Ethan’s back. They grab his shoulder. “Ethan, look at me.” Ethan shifts slightly to look at Benny, eyes full of pain. “You are allowed to be upset. You almost died. That’s so goddamn scary, it’s a miracle you didn’t freak out until now. But you’re okay now. You weren’t hurt at all. I won’t let anything happen to you ever again, I promise.”

“How? You can’t always be there for me?”

Benny pulls Ethan into their arms, letting Ethan rest his head on their chest. “I’ll find a way. I swear.”

They lay together for a while, Benny not wanting to ruin the moment. Ever since the old Vice Principal cursed Ethan, Ethan had been more vulnerable and open about his emotions. Being vulnerable is what saved him then, so Benny guessed he thought it would be a better change. Besides, it helped sometimes. They both used to keep in how badly the supernatural affected them. Having to constantly be the people who kept everyone in line was difficult and came with a lot of scars, both physical and emotional. Every day is like a fight for their lives and you can only fight so much before falling apart. Being open made it to where they didn’t have to hold everything in anymore. Benny knew most people thought less of emotional men but after everything they’ve all been through, they deserve to be open.

After about an hour of this, Ethan raises his head to stare at Benny. Their faces were only centimeters apart and Benny could feel their heart rate pick up. “Thank you… For everything. I’ve been pretty pathetic lately.”

Benny frowns, not happy with what Ethan had just said. “Pathetic? By whose standards? Being pathetic is like throwing a punch when someone’s back is turned. Being heartbroken and upset about almost dying is not pathetic.”

Ethan sighs and smiles at Benny. They could tell that he knew there was no winning this. A moment of silence passes over the two of them, stuck staring into each other’s eyes. Benny’s heart starts racing against and they could swear they could feel Ethan’s as well. It was like they were frozen in time. All Benny wanted to do was lean forward and kiss him, to do the thing they’ve been dreaming about since childhood. But it wouldn’t be fair to Ethan, Sarah had just basically dumped him and they bet any kind of kindness right now could manipulate Ethan into thinking certain things about them. If they were going to kiss Ethan, they want it to be because Ethan loves them, not because he’s confused and thinking romance is comfort. 

Benny breaks eye contact, in turn breaking the spell that seemed to be over them. They lean back and Ethan rolls off of them, getting off the bed and standing up. “Want snacks so we can watch a movie?” He asks. Benny nods their head, saying yes without opening their mouth

\--

Benny leaves for school faster than Ethan in the morning. They don’t want to be rude but after what happened last night, they think it’s for the better. They don’t want to be pulled into Ethan as much anymore. It hurt almost kissing him last night. It hurt really bad. It was like the universe was dangling the thing he can’t have over their head as a form of torture. If they were going to kiss Ethan, it would be because Ethan loved them back.

They get to school and open their locker, starting up their daily routine once more. Sarah and Erica approach them. “Hey, where’s the other dork?”

“I don’t know. Why are you asking me?” Benny asks, snapping a bit.

“Whoa there tiger, she was just wondering because you two are always together. She kind of needs to talk to him about something,” Sarah says, trying to calm Benny down as much as possible.

Benny shrugs and faces her, closing their locker. “I left too early this morning. He’ll probably be here in about twenty minutes.”

Erica nods and walks off, leaving Sarah at their locker. She looks like she needs to say something but doesn’t know how. Benny gives her a moment and leans against their locker. “How is Ethan dealing with… You know… What happened between us?”

Benny thinks for a minute. They don’t want to be rude when Sarah was obviously concerned but something just made them annoyed that Sarah would break his heart and then want to know how he’s doing. They sigh and shrug. “Not too great I’d say. He uh… Well he tried to do something he normally wouldn’t so I’d say he’s not handling it well.”

Sarah gasps and puts her hands over her mouth, looking more concerned than they’ve ever seen her. “Oh my god, he tried to hurt himself?”

Benny shoots out their hands, waving them. “No no no no. Not that. If he did I wouldn’t be here right now. No. Something else.”

Benny watches her visibly deflate in relief. She may not have feelings for him but she still loved Ethan and Benny knew that. She takes a second before pondering what Benny meant. “So what did he do?”

Benny takes a deep breath, not wanting to say it but doing it anyways. “I think he almost kissed me.”

Sarah smiles widely and punches Benny in the shoulder multiple times. She laughs and jumps a little. “That’s great!” She says, looking happy for Benny. She pauses, studying Benny’s face. “Isn’t it?”

Benny shrugs and stares at the floor. They kick at the tiles for a moment, shoving their hands in their pocket. Normally, Benny would be over the moon that Ethan almost kissed them. They love him more than anything. But because of that love, they knew it wasn’t genuine. “I mean it would be. But… I think he’s just finding himself right now. Like any act of kindness will make him think he likes you. He doesn’t like me, I know that. He’s probably straight as well, just confused right now.”

“Oh Benny,” Sarah sighs. She steps closer, rubbing Benny’s arm to comfort them. “I know that you know him better than I do but I also see things differently. I know he would do anything for you, and I mean anything. He loves you more than anything in this world and nothing will change that. Ethan isn’t the type to get confused like that and you know it. Just give it some time. I promise things are better than you think.”

Benny looks up and smiles softly at her, thankful that she cared like she did. He goes for a hug, Sarah gladly taking them in her arms. “How did you know that I… Uh…”

“You’d have to be blind to not see it. It’s very obvious and very sweet.”

They break from the hug and nervously scratch the back of their head. If she could tell, then wouldn’t Ethan? It wasn’t a thought they ever thought would cross their mind. After all, for the years they were friends Ethan didn’t seem to notice. 

\--

The whole day they avoid Ethan. They don’t want to make it obvious but they needed time to think right now and Ethan breathing down their back would not help. All they wanted was to figure out what they were going to do. In a thoughtless daze, they accidentally slam into Erica’s back. She whips around, clearly not happy that someone hit her. “Watch it!” She yells before realizing who it was.

“Sorry Erica, just got lost in thought,” they say, trying to calm her down.

She crosses her arms in a way to try and hide her concern. They had been friends for a couple years and she wasn’t the best at showing her emotions, but Benny knew she cared for all of them. They smile softly as she tries to look for something to say. “You know you can talk to me anytime right? I was going to talk to you about something today anyways.”

“Yeah I know,” they reply, wanting to take her up on her offer.

She grabs their arm and pulls them away, clearly not wanting to talk about personal things in the middle of the hallway. They leave the school building and walk towards a secluded area in a park. She lets go of their arm and sits down against a tree, motioning for them to sit down as well. They sit down next to her, shoulders touching. “So what did you want to talk about?”

Sarah laughs nervously and fidgets a bit. “I was expecting you to talk first but okay. Umm… So Rory referred to you by they/them and I wanted to know if you want me to use those pronouns for you as well. I don’t want to bombard you or anything but as someone who is trans I would hate to misgender another trans person.”

Benny smiles, leaning into the tree. They would normally be completely nerve-wracked in this situation but it was always easier coming out to another trans person. They couldn’t help but feel their stress leave their body. “Yes, that would be nice. You’re not bombarding me at all, I honestly would have asked the same thing if I didn’t already know. I’m genderfluid so I use all binary pronouns and they/them.”

“Thank you for telling me,” Erica smiles. She takes a minute before thinking of another question. “So what is bothering you right now? You don’t have to explain everything if you don’t want to but I’m here for you.”

Benny strains a smile and looks at their hands. They don’t know how to phrase what they’re feeling exactly. It was more than what they told Sarah this morning. It was more complex than that. Everything was so chaotic in their mind and they don’t know how to get it all out there. They were worried about Ethan, they were hurt, and they can’t stop thinking about the times they’ve almost died. It’s all bubbling to the surface and they just wanted to get it all out. “It’s a lot.”

“I don’t mind, I’ve got time.”

“There’s just so much going on. I try to not think about all the things we go through daily but it gets hard after a while. I’m just so tired of having to be the one to save the day. I know it’s my responsibility to keep other humans safe like the magic users before me but I’m only seventeen. It’s just so much to almost die nearly every day. I don’t want to do this anymore, I haven’t even been able to enjoy being a teen. I should be going to parties and worrying about if my crush likes me back, not if my crush is going to die or not. 

I feel like my entire childhood was stolen from me. I know my grandma and I are the only people in this town that are spell casters and have the magical resources to take down anything. And I know my grandma is too old to fight but I feel so angry that no adults waited for me to be one as well before shoving so much responsibility onto me.

And then there’s so much going on with my love life that’s related to this but also not related. It’s so hard to describe. I love him a lot but there’s never a time to act on it. We’re always in danger and we always get the worst luck. When something does happen I can’t even be sure it’s his actual feelings for me or if it’s just him wanting to be comforted. It’s not fair.”

Silence hangs over the air as Erica processes what Benny had just said. They were more relieved speaking about their feelings. They broke their own rule all the time about not holding things in. It felt bad but they felt like they had to because Ethan was also going through so much and he deserved to talk about it more than they did. It was unhealthy how much time and energy they put into him. There’s always a balance and they have the scales tipped to where they never take time to heal themself. Sarah exhales loudly and turns to face Benny. She was frowning and concern was written all over her face.

“You’re right, it’s not fair. I had a choice to be a vampire. Hell, I’m fucking immortal too so I have nothing to be scared of. But you… You never had a choice. You should have had a choice,” Erica pauses, also staring at Benny’s hands. “And the person you like… It’s Ethan right?”

Benny nods.

“He didn’t get a choice either. And it sucks, the two of you deserve a break. I can’t even count on my hands the amount of times I’ve watched the two of you get so injured it looked nearly fatal. Do you ever talk to him about how this makes you feel?”

Benny sighs sharply, knowing what she was going to say. “No. I usually just let him talk and comfort him.”

Erica grabs their hand and tilts their head up to be able to look into their eyes. They saw how worried she was about them and it made their heart churn. It was hard to see how concerned she was about them, especially since she always tried so hard to not show any emotions for other people.

“You know that’s not healthy right? Relationships of any kind are supposed to go both ways, not just one way. You can’t sacrifice your own mental health for someone else, no matter how much you love them. You can’t take on his problems to not even focus on your own because your own problems get worse. I know how hard it is to open up to other people and let them in, trust me, but it needs to be done. I know Ethan would want you to be honest with him as well.”

Benny nods and wipes away the tears that started to pool in their eyes. It was true, their mental health had gotten worse over the years of only focusing on Ethan. They knew the  _ ‘love yourself before you love someone else’ _ shit was not true but ignoring your own mental health for someone else was never okay. 

Erica pulls him into a hug and they melt into it, putting their head on her shoulder. They needed this. They needed someone comforting them and telling them that it’s going to be okay. They hadn’t heard those words in a long time directed towards them. It was going to be okay eventually, they could really feel it now.

“I wish I didn’t love him this much. I hate how much I love him, it makes it so much harder to watch him do the things he does.”

“Hey I get it, I feel the same way. When Sarah was being stubborn and refusing to become a full vampire, it hurt so much to watch. She was slowly killing herself doing that. Vampires need human blood, we can’t live without it. Even fledglings. There were times that I would cry for hours over it,” Sarah says, letting go of them.

“I care too much about his feelings to the point where I almost let him kiss me yesterday. I almost let him use me to forget.”

Erica’s face falls into a frown once more and seems to process what Benny was saying. They were a little nervous because she looked really unhappy and they were unsure of who they were unhappy with. Ethan? Them? Both? They could admit they weren’t necessarily the smartest of people when it comes to self preservation. 

“I’m glad you didn’t let that happen. Never let it happen. But at the same time I don’t really think that Ethan would do that. He’s stupid, sure, but he’s not manipulative. I think there’s a different reason behind it… Do you really think that badly of yourself that you don’t think he could like you?” Erica questions, squeezing their hand.

They shrug, not looking her in the eyes. “I’ve just loved him for so long with him liking other people that I don’t expect him to like me back.”

“I’m not going to tell you that he likes you but I need you to know things change,” she states seriously. Benny ponders what she says and leans against the tree. They close their eyes and shiver in the cold. Yesterday was so warm but today was so cold. The shock of the chill still felt nice though. 

They both sit in silence, not needing to say anything else. Their points got across and Benny felt a lot better. They hold Erica’s hand while they both sit there. She lays her head on their shoulder and they stay like that.

As the day got older, Benny started to get too cold. They couldn’t help but shiver a few times and curl into themself. Sarah gets up and pulls them with her. 

She walks them home, hand in hand. It felt nice to Benny. They were touch starved and liked having someone comfort them like this. Being completely platonic like this, it was nice. Whenever they were with Ethan, they overthought each touch. It would make them overjoyed but also stress them out because they would long for it to be something more than it was. With Erica they knew it was friendship and it was nothing to overthink. It was just comforting.

They make it to Ethan’s house in comforting silence. Stopping on the sidewalk, she lets go of their hand and pulls them into a hug to say goodbye. Benny squeezes back before walking up the stairs to the porch. They wave goodbye and then walk into Ethan’s house. He was standing at the window, looking really confused. 

“Are you-”

“No no no. We just had a long conversation earlier and she thought I needed a comforting hand holding session. We definitely do not like each other like that,” Benny states, stopping Ethan in his tracks.

Ethan nods, seeming to follow. They knew he knew that they would never lie to him so when Ethan didn’t question it they knew he believed them. Ethan nods and talks about watching a movie while walking up the stairs. Benny quickly follows behind and states some suggestions for what they could watch. Benny knew their grandma could handle Enrique so they weren’t too worried about going back at the moment. 

Ethan and Benny settle into his bed, getting comfortable to watch the movie. They had been watching movies more than usual recently, but it was nice. They definitely needed a distraction from what just happened. Ethan turns on the movie Benny was talking about on their way up to the room and rests his head on their shoulder. 

The movie plays and Benny sinks into Ethan’s touch, wanting to be close to him. They were happier than they had been in weeks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for reading my fic, i hope you enjoy it so far.  
> please consider supporting me on twitter ( twitter.com/rosydaydreams )

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading, I hope you liked it!
> 
> Please consider following my twitter ( twitter.com/aphrodesiiaa ) and supporting my writing and art!


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